Catch & Release

Posted on January 17, 2013. Filed under: Couples, Relationships | Tags: , , , |

Dear Lora,

I’m a sophomore in college and have been hooking up with this guy that I really like, unfortunately he only texts me to hang out late at night, never during the day.   Have I ruined my chances altogether with this guy?  I really like him!

Dear Catch and Release,

Ohhhhhh Sister…sister…sister…sister….

Let’s start here:  DON’T DO ANYTHING ELSE!  And by that, I mean, don’t call, text, tweet or tag this guy for any reason – ever!

I have to say, my gut is telling me this ship has sailed due to the circumstances.  So what we’ll need to do here is learn from this and move on.  I know that’s hard to read, but trust me, there is a better bus coming for you!  Someday you’ll look back and thank your lucky stars you didn’t hop on that one – absolutely no pun intended.

Unfortunately a pattern has been established and he has you in the drunk-dial box.  It’s just a wild guess that alcohol was involved with the late night texting, which makes it nearly impossible to have any kind of sober sunlight connection.

Here’s the thing, it’s super difficult to change an image in a young man’s mind.  And judging by his clear lack of respect for you, I’m not sure you can, so why waste the energy on it, right?  On the other hand, I’m not giving you a complete hall pass on this one, you responded to the 12 o’clock texts, so you too have some skin in the game, okay, bad choice of words, but you get the picture.  You must own your part in this, and figure out a way to not repeat this promiscuous pattern without some sort of commitment.

Next: Most college boys don’t have the emotional capacity that college age girls do.  A women’s brain develops faster in this category, that’s just how it is.  For the most part, college guys tend to move from one sparkly object to the next.  Their attention spans are short and relationships, if they even call them that anymore, are commonly even shorter.

Case in point: my husband, Scooter, who is just your typical guys-guy describes the good ol’ fraternity days as the era of “catch and release”.  Now, while Scoot says this in a joking fashion, I think there’s something to be learned from this fishy tale.  At that age, the early 20’s, there are few guys out there even looking for a long-term cell phone plan, let along a long-term girlfriend.  In his mind, this guy is swimming in a school of fish – or a university full of mermaids, as the case may be and it’s a numbers game — the more bait you toss out there, the better your chances of snagging something.

Now that you’re hip to these slippery fishermen you can make better decisions going forward.  There are other fish in the sea, lots of them!  One that will fall for you hook, line and sinker!

Bottom line: don’t take the bait, turn off your phone and go to bed…if a guy really wants to see you, he will find a way to make it happen when the sun is up.  In the meantime, turn the tables on this guy and toss him back in the water!

Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )

  • Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

  • Links

Liked it here?
Why not try sites on the blogroll...